One of Us Now

The first 24 hours back have been wonderful. With tears welling up, I say WONDERFUL! I've spent most of this time watching Samuel's expressions, wondering what he is thinking, and amazed at how he seems right at home with his new brothers and sisters.

Our time in Moscow was mostly pleasant, but the last two days were more difficult than the first three. As we mentioned before Samuel began testing us. Obviously missing familiarity, he started biting, kicking and screaming. From what we know, all very normal responses. He also decided one of those days he was not going to drink anything, and he hardly ate that day either. To most mothers this is a true test of patience. Again, God was near and gave us and Samuel the endurance to get through the last leg of our journey. And no he didn't starve in the process. Ryan and I learned so much and really remained a tight team the entire trip. But now we had come to the hardest part, getting a resistant, frustrated, sad toddler home who had no understanding of the great things that lay at the finish line. To be honest it did cross my mind (for a split second) that maybe the sacrifice had been too great, and for a child who doesn't even seem to like us! Ryan mentioned, in the midst of one tantrum, how it seemed Samuel was so softened and sweet after each of his crying fits and ready to be loved. So true, I thought. There was a reward for our tired arms in the end. This reminded me of how often I kick and scream and throw a fit (well it looks more like a pout in the corner in my case) when God is leading me in a different way than I want to be led! Oh, how gracious God is to be patient with me and love me through my ugliest moments because he knows that where He is leading will be best for me. Because He loves me, He is faithful to mature me, through difficult circumstances. And He has rewards and blessings waiting for me when I am softened and sweet!

We spent roughly 16 hours in the air to get from Moscow to Frankfurt and then to San Francisco on Friday. Samuel did really well and even slept for 7 of those hours! We stayed the night in San Fransisco to recover before our short flight home on Saturday. When we arrived we were greeted by our family and a few close friends with big grins, holding balloons and snapping pictures. As we got close, Noah could no longer contain himself and ran out past security to see us. It was so fun to see his excitement over his new brother. I pray they will share a special bond! Taylor, Lauren, and Makenna were equally excited and we were so glad to be able to hug and kiss them again. Cousins made a welcome home sign and special cards. The grandma's and sister in law had prepared good dinner and stocked our frig. They know just how to take care of us! All went above and beyond the call of duty! Thank you to those of you who paid close attention to our story, prayed for us each step of the way, and cheered us homeward! I have a renewed appreciation for my home. Not my house (although it's nice too) but the family and friends the Lord has blessed me with.

When we were still in Russia and it was just the three of us, Ryan and I tried hard to imagine how it would be to have Samuel a regular part of our family. And now after just the first day, we can't imagine our family without him. He is sleeping in his new room with his big brother Noah who has been SO proud to show him the ropes. He keeps repeating to me, "I'm a good boy". Confidence is not his weakness. Taylor has successfully taught him how to shoot his Nerf gun and how to pretend to be injured. He keeps saying how cute his little smile and quiet laugh is. Lauren's mothering instincts have kicked in and she loves to help him up the stairs and wants to learn Russian words to communicate better. She is very gentle with him and he really has latched on to her and seems to know she is the compassionate one! Makenna enjoyed playing kitchen with Samuel yesterday and is so tickled when he wants to give her a hug. She says, "mom he keeps putting his forehead and nose right close to mine". With those cheeks, who wouldn't want kisses. I'm sure it's the honeymoon phase, but all the kids are being so generous with their time with him and want to wait on him constantly. The discussion about who will sit next to Samuel this morning at breakfast was cute.

We are surprised at how much more Samuel is eating now that we are home. This makes my heart happy 'cause I wasn't sure how much longer he could survive on strawberry yogurt and baby fruit in a jar. Yesterday he even enjoyed some tri-tip. He is pleased with all the toys in his closet and is smiling more and more. The house looks like a tornado hit, but we will get to that later. Eventually life will return to "normal" but for now we are enjoying the newness and a little fun chaos. Yes, for now those do go together. I know the pictures are more interesting than my words. I will post some soon when I have a chance to look through them.

Birthday Boy

Well, we've gone from giggles to tears to giggles again (more than once). We started Wednesday morning with a trip to the Moscow Zoo. It was so fun to see Samuel's eyes wide to all the animals he has never seen. Sergei bought him balloon and he experienced his first bag of popcorn and LOVED it! He liked the foxes and wolves best. We took lots of pictures. It was a great morning and a sunny day too.

Apparently the kids celebrated at home too. Here are some of their pictures!

(The kids seem to be doing okay while we're gone)

The zoo is within walking distance of the American embassy. So, from there, we walked to our appointment and consular interview, nearly the last step of our process to bring Samuel home. At the conclusion, they gave us his visa, saying he can enter the USA as a permanent resident. What a way to remember this special 3rd birthday. We met 5 other adoptive families there and were glad to hear their stories. Way different from 3 years ago when that little room in the Embassy was packed full. Samuel will always retain his Russian citizenship, and when we arrive in San Francisco on Saturday, he'll gain his American citizenship too!

That same evening, after a nap for all, Samuel woke up sad. After about an hour of tears and a tantrum, we realized we made it through our first meltdown. I think with all the changes he has had to make over the last few days he was entitled! We are praying he sees by our response that our love is unconditional. Each day, he seems to be more comfortable with his new routine. Of course, we know that spending a week in hotels alone with Mom and Dad, will be considered anything but routine after we get home. But he is becoming more comfortable with some of the basics, like eating out or riding in a car and even the elevator is no big deal now.

Today, our last full day in Russia, we received our consular registration certificate, which officially concludes the paperwork requirements for us to leave! We have had the chance to just hang out and relax a little bit before the long trek home tomorrow. Samuel took a great nap for us, but he wasn't so much into the relaxing walk on Arbat Street. We are doing our best to stay flexible, yet lovingly firm with him, as he understands that we aren't only playmates and "care providers", but his Mommy and Daddy who love him very much.

We praise our Lord, that He has shown to be immeasurably faithful and loving on this portion of our journey. We know that the last 4 months in bringing Samuel home, has only been the beginning, and we anxiously await what God will do with this little boy from Rostov on Don, Russia! We echo Hannah's prayer, for her son Samuel, as she dedicated and left him, fully in the Lord's hands-

"There is no one holy like the Lord;

there is no one besides you;

there is no Rock like our God."

I Samuel 2:2

Love,

Ryan, Allyson, and Birthday Boy

SEE YOU AT HOME!

Sweet Samuel

Yeah for Starbucks! There is one right here in Moscow! I’m confident there are many here now, but just 3 years ago there was not one to be found, at least on Arbat Street. I guess Russia has caught the “coffee fever” and for this we are thankful (even though, we are less than avid drinkers, not hip enough probably). It feels a tiny bit like home just to see that green and brown sign. And the best part is, they offer “nearly free” WiFi so we can keep in contact with you all, as well as make necessary arrangements for our flights and hotel stay for heading home.

It is truly a relief to be here in Moscow. Our flight went very well and so thank you to all who were praying nervously for us. The most frightening part for him was the bus ride from the terminal to the plane. And then there was the loud noise and gusty winds from the HUGE helicopter preparing to take off just beside us as we were boarding the plane. He cried pretty hard for the first 10 minutes…I think those around us were beginning to regret their seat assignment…and then settled down and was an angel the rest of the flight. PTL! We breathed a big sigh of relief when we touched down safe and sound, especially after hearing on the news of the Aeroflot plane crash one week ago. All 88 passengers killed. (Hope you hadn’t heard that one, mom) At the airport we were met by our familiar Moscow facilitator, Sergei. He is wonderful, kind and funny too. He speaks Russian, English, and French which makes for a great accent. A short while after arriving to Hotel Arbat we B-lined for the To-Go line at Hard Rock Café and enjoyed a small feast in our room. Chicken Quesadillas never tasted so good! Today we spent walking on historical Arbat street, a long pedestrian only path with plenty of restaurants and souvenir shops. Tomorrow is our appointment at the U.S Embassy, and if weather permits, we plan to go to the zoo.

As we get to know our new son we are falling in love more and more! He has been sleeping good and still eating up a storm. He plays quietly and contently most of the time, a skill he picked up in the Baby Home no doubt. Allow me to share just a few of the cute things he does. Like all almost 3yr olds, he knows the word “no” and is not afraid to use it. He is keenly aware of its power and uses his charming eyes to seal the deal. Somehow for now it is sweeter because it comes out “nye” without the “t” which would be the Russian word for “no”. He says it any and every time he is dissatisfied with what is offered. He takes great pleasure in throwing away even the smallest piece of trash, and sees it as his civil duty to do so! When he bumps his head, which sadly is quite often due to his instability, he says “bulnee” which is his version of the word for “it hurts”. It’s so cute that he and I usually repeat back to one another several times until he giggles, and then the pain is forgotten. He also says “OP HA” when he drops something, which I suppose is the Russian translation for our “oops”. His walk has got to be the cutest though. Because his right foot is turned in more than his left and he keeps his knees slightly buckled, it makes for a very unique jig. And the way he runs is down right adorable. What a miracle this boy is and how grateful we are to have him in our family. Just can’t wait for the rest of the fam to know him as well as we do. He has an endearing personality, they will surely love him! We trust God has already done the work of preparing many hearts to welcome him in.

Even though we have experienced adoption before, this time is no less special. It is unreal to hold in our hands Samuel’s original Birth Certificate with his old name. And stare at his birth father and mother’s signatures on the Release form. This made him available for adoption, even stating they were ok with foreign adoption. We don’t know if their decision to sign was agonizing or not. We assume it was since it was signed and dated 8 days after his birth. We are praying for his birth mom and dad and grandparents too, tonight as we are certain they will be burdened or least reminded tomorrow of the memory of the decision they each made almost 3 years ago (Samuel’s birthday is September 24th). And then to see his new Birth Certificate which now has his new name, and our names listed as his parents. I can’t see this without reflecting on my own adoption into God’s family. I received a new name, the security and hope of a new home to come, an inheritance too glorious to fathom, and the love of a Heavenly Father—whose love I cannot earn, nor can I lose.

Visual reminders serve to strengthen my faith in God’s plans. When I see Samuel’s red passport next to our blue ones I wonder what great plans He has for this little boy whom was so obviously plucked out of an orphanage in Russia to soon be placed in the Govard family (Howard in Russian) in sunny California. One of our favorite songs right now is “This Is Home” by Switchfoot from the Prince Caspian soundtrack. It worked well for Samuel’s video, but the words ring true for all who call Heaven their Home.

Created for a place I’ve never known
This is home, now I’m finally where I belong.

I’ve got my heart set on what happens next
And I’ve got my eyes wide, it’s not over yet
We’re miracles and we’re not alone.

Sending all our love,
Allyson, (Ryan & Samuel too)

Unto the Least of These

Thank you to the families who gave a financial donation to the toddlers in Samuel's group. They enjoyed a little spoiling on account of you! We took balloons, noisemakers, candies, marshmallows, bananas, cookies, lots of toys - including a baby doll, doll stroller, magnetic building set, tent, balls and a stuffed animal for each child.

Each child also received a new pair of shoes and the remainder of the money was used to purchase many needed items like medicine and diapers, at the request of the orphanage directors.


New kicks for Group 8

During the party, one of the caregivers lead the children in singing a few songs and doing some traditional Russian dances. They also sang Happy Birthday to Samuel as he blew out the candle on the top of his marshmallow! It was a sweet time for us to spend with the kids, before we came back later in the day to leave with Samuel. It was hard to say goodbye to them, but we know they are in Hands much greater than ours'.

We will miss them dearly. Blessings to all who gave so generously.

Out of the Dom!

We have reemerged from self imposed blog darkness. Actually, we've just been very busy and unable to post. Thank you for the e-mails and prayers, wondering if we were okay.



We are! Great, actually. Yesterday at 4:30, we made our last trip to Baby Home #4, and left with our beloved son, Samuel Matvey. Without much external "hoopla", we drove away from the only place he has known as home for his young little life. While the mood was typical in Group #8's room, our hearts were leaping as the caregiver dressed him in the clothes we had brought, and he left with only a small toy pig we had given him in July. He left with out ANY material possessions. But I don't think he cared.

We knew after walking down the stairs we've used close to 50 times in the last 2 weeks, that Samuel's fear of "machinas" would soon show itself as he realized he was getting back in a car. Among our many prayer requests before driving over to the home, was that he would not be too frightened to drive back to the hotel. We think we understand, in a small way, the unimaginable changes he's going through right now. We were hoping riding in cars would be among the easier ones. We very quickly saw our Heavenly Father's gracious answer, as Samuel calmed down after only 3 or 4 minutes of our 15 minute drive. He calmly watched the big world around us, as Paul drove us down the street. Samuel didn't celebrate, but he didn't fight either. We continue to pray that he will trust us, and allow us to love and care for him.

After a quiet evening, and a short walk to pick up some dinner, Samuel fell asleep as Ally sat next to his crib, silently praying for him. Every few minutes, he would reach his hand through the bars, and grab Mommy's hand to make sure she was still there. He has grown in his affection for each of us during our entire stay, but he is really beginning to love his new "Mama". (I can say that, because she's up in the room with him, not seeing what I'm posting) I don't think he understands, entirely, the difference between a caregiver and a mom yet, but he already looks at her differently than I saw him look at any caregiver in Baby Home #4. He knows she's different, and I think he knows she loves him. If he only understood how much! Samuel's mama and papa (we're working on daddy still), love him wholeheartedly, and we won't stop. We hope we can point him to a much greater love very soon:

"See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are..." 1 John 3:1

Today, Samuel experienced another important rite of passage to be a Howard! A haircut! Taylor, Lauren, Makenna and Noah, you know what I mean. Mommy loves giving or getting her kids' haircuts. We first tried Hotel Rostov's hair saloon (not salon), but they didn't cut children's hair. So after finding a nice place at the local CA shopping mall, I bravely sat down in the salon's chair first, as Samuel cried about the idea that we were even inside a building he wasn't familiar with. After learning that an American #4 is a little different than a Russian #4, I got out of the way and Ally sat down with our brave son in her lap. After crying for the first minute or so, he calmed down and allowed the stylist to trim him up.

Before

During

After

After rejecting McDonald's today for lunch, we stopped at the hotel restaurant and ordered a mini feast to be sent up to our room. When the soup, bread, chicken with gravy and beef stroganoff arrived in our room, to our relief, Samuel went to town. It was a relief, because so far he had pretty much only enjoyed bananas, fruit in a jar and the chocolate the stylists gave him. We will do our best to find him food that makes him comfortable and train him to enjoy hamburgers and orange chicken a little at a time. He might not even be ready for Chipotle next week?!

There is much else to tell, but we look forward to sharing with most of you in person, very soon. Our next post, will be from Moscow if possible. 3 years ago, our internet access was more difficult there, so we may have difficulty doing more than checking e-mail once or twice. We shall see.

For now, we will spend the rest of the weekend in Rostov, before flying to Moscow Monday afternoon at 12:45. If everything goes according to plan, we will hopefully arrive in Fresno on Saturday next weekend!

Love from Ryan (and Ally & Samuel too)

A True Test

Honestly, today has been a hard one so far and in many ways a test of our patience. It's amazing how a couple cold showers can threaten to rob you of joy! We haven't had hot water here at our hotel for the past two days. Note: this is tricky when you are attempting to do laundry in the bathtub. We tried to talk to the cleaning ladies on our floor, but all we could comprehend it that no one has had hot water for three days...or is it that we won't have hot water for three more days?! I'm not sure which. We hope hot water will return and at the same time we realize this is a small inconvience. And it is only temporary.




Samuel was not a happy camper this morning. Maybe he wasn't feeling well, or maybe he is just fearful and choosing to test our love for him today. If the second is true, we really can't blame him. Maybe he is tired of us and our routine of coming for an hour or so and then leaving again. How can he possibly trust us yet? We are consistent with our small part of his day, but we are not feeding him meals or tucking him in at night. So, for whatever reason, he was fussy and nothing seemed to change his mood. We are praying that his heart will continue to warm up to us. We realize that like all bonding, especially in adoption, it will be supernatural. Our time with him ended in a tantrum, his not ours! I was able to go into his room, and after struggling to peel off his many layers of clothing and shoes, he calmed down and let me cuddle with him. He finally relaxed his defenses. I wiped his tears and held him until he was ready to join his group for lunch. I thought about what God's Word says, "perfect love casts out fear." I long for him to know how much we love him, and more importantly and longer lasting, how deeply his Heavenly Father loves him.

We are missing our children at home like crazy! Thankfully, they are in good hands and doing just fine, but 10 more days seems like an eternity (by the time we are together again it will have been 23 days in all). We've been able to talk with each of them on the phone twice now. Hearing their voices makes us miss them more. Noah said to me, "I want you" and "get Samuel quick from the Baby Home". My feelings exactly! I'm so glad he's to the point, especially when we're using a phone card with limited minutes. I have had many opportunities to imagine what his life would be like if he was still living here at the Baby Home. Some of the children we play with are close to four as he is, and will soon be moving on the the orphanage for older children. I am thankful, beyond words, for God's choosing him for our family.



Our room in the hotel is located on what they call the Comfort Wing and so oddly enough the word "Comfort" is posted above our hall. Each time we walk under the sign I am reminded of the source of true comfort. As you probably sense from my writing, I have stuggled to put a smile on today. But, I choose to do so because I am a child of God, adopted into His family. And the best part, He loves me with a perfect love.

"For He delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of His Beloved Son." Colossians 1:13

Ryan and I did go to a soccer game on Monday night. It was a lot of fun, kind of like a date! Again, the sights and smell were different, but the game and celebration was the same. Rostov won 3-0.

2 Words - "Chi potle"

Who, What and Why We Miss Home

Taylor, Lauren, Makenna, Noah

Family
Church Family
Friends
Sunday mornings at Campus Bible

Next Exit College students and events

Did we say Chipotle yet?
Diet Pepsi with ICE
ESPN (at least 1 of us does)
Brushing our teeth without using a bottle of BonAqua
Hugs and kisses from our children at home

A separate valve for the shower AND sink
Smokeless restaurants
In-n-Out
Mexican food

Water that doesn't smell like sulfur

Weekend soccer games
Did we mention Chipotle?
Chips and Salsa
Our own bed
Being able to open your mouth in the shower
Soft toilet paper
Tickle wars

Streets and sidewalks without potholes
Pleasant smells
Washer and dryer
Bedtime stories with kids

Salad
Air conditioned cars
Our own cars
Save Mart

Clean sheets

Labels we can read

Being able to order anything on the menu
Oh yeah, Chipotle

We reserve the right to add items to this list.

This list only serves as a reminder to us, of how many personal and material blessings that we enjoy only by the grace and mercy of our Father. We are truly spoiled. When we write these out, we laugh and smile, but we also remember how God provides for us in abundance.

Our travel hasn’t come without a price, for us and for those that love us back at home, hopefully you each know how very grateful we are that we are in Rostov on Don, Russia. And even more grateful and excited to be with our new son! We know we’re right where God planned us to be, long before we had ever dreamed it, and long before little Samuel Matvey came into our lives. We can’t wait for you all to meet him.

Rain or Shine We Go

The weather has been beautiful here, sunny and in the upper 80’s. Now we are seeing the weather change. Yesterday it sprinkled off and on and today we woke up to gray skies and lots of rain. We put on our raincoats and hit our well-worn path to see Samuel. Our last couple visits have been inside because of the weather. We are thankful now for our days outside. It’s stuffy inside and we have to be more creative to keep him entertained. Today we peeked around the corner into the bathroom right next to the playroom to see a couple little boys sitting to go potty on little green Tupperware bowls marked with a number. I guess they each have their own. What a funny site, I of course snapped a picture. Maybe we don’t need the fancy potty seats, bowls work fine here.

All the kids in Samuel’s group call us Mama and Papa when we arrive and when we leave they each want a separate “da sviDAniya” and a wave from us. Sounds like a little Russian boy at home that I know! Noah is very particular about goodbyes. It is so sweet and melts my heart every time. We heard there are three more families preparing to come to Rostov in the next coming months from our agency. Yay! Maybe one of these children will be chosen, but it is unlikely since most couples long for babies. We still have seen no adoptive families here. We have to trust they are all in God’s big hands. He loves them and it is not for us to question His ways.

Everyday we go to play with Samuel twice, once around 10am and then again at 5pm, each for about an hour and a half. Yesterday, Ryan went with our facilitator to purchase our plane tickets to Moscow, and so I went up to play with Samuel by myself. Should I go to the ticket office or play with Samuel…this was an easy choice! Oh, I’m so glad I did. They let me come into his room! This is usually not allowed and so it was truly a privilege to get a glimpse of the place he has “lived” for at least the past year... He was so proud to show me his bed and his pillow. Being the “experienced” mom that I am I checked it out thoroughly to see what size and softness he is used to. Always looking for things we can purchase to bring him comfort when he comes home with us. He sat quietly on the floor and waited for me to take initiative to play. I pulled down a baby doll off the shelf. I know, I know, it’s not a boy toy, but I wanted to see what he would do. He pretended along with me to feed the baby and pointed to eyes, nose, ears, and mouth. He is so gentle and has a sweet way of asking and patiently waiting. We have taught him to say “more” and “thank you” in sign language and he does it faithfully, but so far only when asking for the gummy bears stashed in daddy’s backpack! He loves to wrestle with Dad and charges at us to be tickled and his giggles are SO cute.

Did I mention he is now giving us kisses? The bonding is happening little by little and going far better than we imagined. The only stubbornness we’ve seen so far is when we have to say goodbye or when we try to take off his jacket and shoes. He has a real attachment to clothes. One day while looking through our toy bag he saw the shirt we had brought (in case we wanted to change out of the girlish looking jog suit they keep dressing him in) and he insisted we put it on him. Then came the pants, and socks and he wanted those on too. Finally after searching the bag he sat and pouted on my lap and we figured out he wanted his new shoes and we had not brought them with us that day. Interesting…I think he longs for things of his own. He doesn’t know yet that a whole closet full is waiting!

We have only 7 more days in Rostov and then on to Moscow. Right now we expect to leave Moscow, after visiting U.S Embassy to get his visa, on Friday the 26th and home to Clovis on Saturday the 27th.

“I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.”

We are trusting the Lord, because He is trustworthy and He promises to go before us.

We love you all,
Allyson for both

Regular Rostovians

No doubt we are missing home and our children especially, but we are doing well learning how to survive and even enjoy Rostov. We are amused, and sometimes saddened by the sights here. You'll find a few shots sprinkled in this post of Rostov. Sorry, we didn't have time to sharpen our blogger skills and now navigating our site is near impossible since it is in Russian. The famous saying "A picture speaks a thousand words" is so true. You'll find a picture of a huge apartment building taken from our hotel window and some others just like it that we took on our walk to Samuel's orphanage. Most people who live here in the city call these rundown apartment buildings home. And of course you'll see their clothes hanging out to dry, since they don't have the convienence of a washer/dryer like we do. We have observed people working hard here and especially for older people, life here is hard. You can see it in their faces and swollen feet.

You'll see a lovely picture of me sitting in our room...thought you may be interested to see where we lay our heads each night. Notice that everything is low profile (small bed and nightstands) and the bright green patterned bedspread and curtains. The carpet matches too! Another picture of our hot spot, McDonalds. Actually this one is new to us. Can you believe it, there are two! Yes, we admit we are not very adventurous...at least we've not been accused of eating strange things and we stay far away from resturaunts with rabbit liver on the menu. We did find a new place called MaMa Pizza. The food is good and they even have a non-smoking section. Next to McDonalds, it's the only one we've found in all of Rostov and Moscow. It seems that everyone smokes here!

As I said at the start of this post we are missing home. We are SO thankful for the comfortable, inviting place we call home and look forward to getting back there! As we struggle to be comfortable here in Rostov we realize soon it will be Samuel's turn to leave all the comforts of his home to adjust to a new one. Talk about feeling homesick for what you "know". Two days ago we took Samuel from the Baby Home for about a half hour to take passport pictures downtown. Paul (our driver), Olga (translator), one of his caregivers (name unknown), and I took a 10 minute drive in the car to the photo place, which was a teeny tiny closet of a place underground. Sound inviting? At the last minute we were told Ryan couldn't go 'cause there wasn't room in the car. Imagine my disappointment...he's my protection! Samuel began to kick, scream, whimper, shake, and try his best to climb out of the window. I've never seen a boy so scared! He wouldn't sit in the carseat and so his caregiver held him down in her lap. About halfway through the drive she reluctantly let me try to comfort him. It was awkward and I got the feeling she didn't want me to take over, so I tried to be gracious. It was an eye-opener to how it might be to travel home. I wonder how he feels about plane rides, like 4-5 of them? I told Ryan as soon as we got back that we have got to work on our soothing Russian phrases. I guess he has only been in the medical van a few times and it was to visit the hospital for his surgeries. Poor boy, he is associating those not so pleasant experiences with rides in the car. I don't blame him for being so afraid.

The rest of the day I was on the emotional side, fighting those same fears I had when adopting Noah. I am not alone, Ryan felt the same. We are asking God to renew our courage and help to rest in the fact that even though Samuel will grieve the loss of his Baby Home it will be suffering worth enduring. The blessings of being a part of a family we trust will far outweigh the pain of the here and now!

We had a really good visit this morning and now we are off for our afternoon visit. Did I mention we are walking now? We have to do something to work off all those burgers and fries! At times Samuel decides he wants to be independent, but for the most part he likes us and is happy when we get there. Yesterday it was so cute, another boy came to Ryan's legs to get a hug and Samuel quickly motioned this boy to move it. With a swipe of his arm and words (?) the boy obeyed and then Samuel snuggled into his spot. This is good, he wants all to know this is HIS Papa. Ahhhh! He enjoys the toys we bring. But, even more he likes playing with the boxes they come in.

In the words of our kind facilitator, "you must pay him". And that we are doing! Yesterday we took him a sucker, he loved it. So much so that he paraded around with it, running it along the bars to the playground, flaunting it in front of his friends. Germs anyone? And so we tried Skittles next and shared them with the other kids. This was a hit and it gave the kids something to be excited about. We (Ryan & I) are kind of the entertainment while we are there. Today we found Gummy bears at the store, so we'll see how those go over! We are getting to know the children in his group and it will be hard to say goodbye.

On a side note: Please pray for an opportunity we may have to meet with a missionary here. He is a part of Slavic Gospel Association. Maybe we can somehow be an encouragement to him, or likely the other way around. We are waiting for him to contact us via email.

Also, we are looking forward to catching a soccer match on Monday night.

with love from Rostov,

Allyson for both

Baby Home Aid

We've been asked by some, if there is a way you can help by donating money to provide for the other children in Samuel's group. The answer is definitely YES!

This is a picture of the small covered area of Baby Home #4's playground.

Please e-mail us at our new address:

thehoward7@sbcglobal.net

We'll respond and let you know directly how you can help. We appreciate your love, your prayers and your encouragement.

Why Not?

I didn't get much of a chance to tell the details of court on the last post. Ryan and I were both so tired and emotionally drained from the day, that we could hardly think straight!

The night before court, we ironed our extremely wrinkled up court clothes and tried to get a good night's rest. I think we were both a little nervous so we didn't sleep great. In the morning we rehearsed our answers to many of the questions we expected and prayed together. Our facilitator, Oleg had warned us that the judge had scoured our dossier looking for our reasons for wanting a fifth child. Apparently she wasn't satisfied with what she read...

Our translator, Olga, and Paul, our driver, picked us up at 9:00. We then took a very circuitous route to the courthouse. A three mile drive took more than 30 minutes. The roads and drivers here in Rostov are indescribable. Basically drivers do whatever they want. It's in the 90's here, so it was a hot drive, as well.

The courtroom was small, but no less intimidating than last time. Our judge was a woman and a mother. We immediately thought this may be to our advantage. Olga told us to make her feel sorry for our kids at home who are missing us. Also in the room were a government prosecutor, the court clerk, a representative from the Ministry of Education (the government office that oversees all orphans, referrals and adoptions), and Dr. Masha from the baby home. Olga was of course there as well, to interpret all that was said. Ryan planned to do the talking and when spoken to by the judge, stood up out of respect, just like court in America. Along with the question of "why we wanted a 5th child", Ryan had to answer many questions about our marriage, family life, if we were prepared to adopt Samuel with his special needs, and even about the real estate and mortgage market in the U.S.

After finishing with Ryan, she then addressed me, and wanted to know all of our reasons for homeschooling. I was drilled on all the aspects of teaching our kids at home. Included, was our purpose to be separate or closed off from others in our community. She made statements like "it's easy to teach them the basics while they are young, but when they get older you will not be able to do it." She asked "if I know how expensive it is to raise 5 children?" and "do you school at home because it's cheaper than public schools?". This is all shortly after asking me of my education. Needless to say her words were discouraging and would have been crushing, that is, if I had needed her approval, but thankfully I don't. She asked many more questions and made many more judgements of us which were mostly of negative content. We remained composed and continued to answer her that it is for the joy that we want to adopt this child. Of course, our reasons for adopting Samuel are many, but difficult to explain through an interpreter, to a judge asking very specific questions.

Court went on for almost 2 hours. Oleg said afterward, that he was very concerned for us because we were in the courtroom so long. He is not allowed to come in. As we shared in the last post, the end result was good and gives us great reason to rejoice. She could have denied our petition to adopt Samuel and then we would have had no recourse but to appeal the decision and wait.

The court hearing reminded us of several points during this pursuit to adopt Samuel. We have have come up against trials, roadblocks and opposition. It has come in different forms. And each time, we've had to honestly pray and "count the cost" together. And each and every time with the strength only our God can supply us, we've pushed forward. There is nothing particularly unique, great or special about us, but we've been adopted by a loving Heavenly Father that is beyond description.

"...with man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26

Because of our Savior, Jesus, we can count the cost and then choose to obey. Because we know the result is joy when we follow Him...even into an unpleasant courtroom in Rostov, Russia.

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." Hebrews 12:2-3

Samuel Makes 5!

Our petition to be legal parents of Samuel Matvey was granted by the judge today! YAY! We are officially mama and papa! The difficult news is that the 10-day waiting period was not waived. We will be here in Rostov for 13 more days and only able to visit Samuel at the Baby Home each day. And probably not the weekends. Even though he is now really our son, we cannot have full-time custody of him until we leave this region. It will be hard and so we are praying for strength and endurance. We are already missing home.

We had a great visit with Samuel this afternoon. We were able to sneak up around the corner of the building and watch him play for awhile without him seeing us. As soon as he did see us he put his little hand up in the air as if to say stop and came charging toward us. Ahhh, it's great to be his parents....we love him so much!

Here are some pictures from today. We changed him into his "Howard clothes" and once again some new shoes. The others are worn out already. He loved every minute. He enjoys getting dressed and was very anxious to show off. We also bought some new toys to take to him today. We played right outside the fenced playground in our favorite spot on the steps. It was so sad though, all the other children (about 20) just line up to watch us play through the bars. It's so hard to see the other children with dirty faces and sad eyes. The caregivers are doing their best but they can't give each of them the attention they need. I picked up one little blonde girl and she clung on to me. When I put her down she plopped herself in the dirt and burst into tears. So heartbreaking! Ryan and I convinced Samuel to to into the playground area with us, coaxing him in so we could get some pictures of him with his friends. I kneeled down to snap some shots and quickly they were all around me. You would have thought I had some candy, but no they are just starving for attention and in desperate need of new experiences. Most of them are very docile, but there are some fighters in the group.

It has been an exhausting day, so that's all for now.

A Warm Welcome

We arrived in Rostov safely last night and after checking into the hotel we went for our usual "first night" dinner at Micky D's for a burger and a shake. It is not our favorite, but it is good comfort food after a long day of travel.

Our facilitator said he had not visited Samuel while we were gone, but he had called a few times and the caregivers say that when they ask Samuel "where is mama?" he points to the gate. What a smart boy! When they ask "where is papa?" he answers only with a big smile! That made Daddy proud.

We have just come from our second visit with Samuel. Ryan and I had been wondering about how Samuel would respond to seeing us again. Questions like "will he remember us?" and "will he be happy to see us?" were among the most important. Well, we did get the warm welcome we were hoping for. He did remember us and seemed very happy to see us. Relieved may be a better word. As we came around the building at the baby home, there he was charging out to the playground, leading his group of course! We both called out his name and he turned to look and then hesitated for about a second. Very quickly then he came to me and gave a long drawn out hug. Still and quiet, but definitely wanted to be held. He stuck like glue. He was wearing a purplish blue jog suit with bright pink stripes down the sides. His forehead has a big ouchie on it, with a pretty thick scab. His hair is much longer now and wouldn't you know it, they had cut a little chunk out of his "bangs" right where the ouchie is. So he isn't looking his best. We had to laugh. Let's just say he couldn't look any more like a little orphan boy than he did today. That's ok because very soon he will be losing his orphan status! We had lots of fun with him today and got lots of giggles out of our sweet boy. No pictures today for obvious reasons. Maybe tomorrow after court we will post some. He did squirm and cry alot when we left him this evening. Boy was that hard.

We were told by our facilitator that he does not believe there is any way we will get the 10-day waiver. This means we would not leave here until the 22nd (of course then we will go to Moscow for 4-5 days). We wrote a letter, our personal plea, to the judge asking her to waive this waiting period. And we told our facilitator we are praying and we have many at home praying. He smiled and said "I don't know maybe something will happen in the Heavens". So please continue to pray. We have been told the judge is in a good mood and is pleased with our paperwork. But, she wants to know why we want another child since we already have 4 at home. She has searched our dossier and cannot find our reason. It is so uncommon for families to have more than 2 children in Russia. Pray for grace as we attempt to answer that one face to face. She also will want to know why we school our children at home. She will probably not accept Deuteronomy 6 as an answer.

We are confident God is Sovereign over court decisions and He is more than able to move our judge to make this decision. His days in the orphanage have already been numbered. Please pray that we would be accepting of God's plan instead of getting stuck on our own. Those of you who like specifics, our court hearing is at 10am Tues. morning our time, and that's 11pm Monday night your time.

Lots of love from Rostov!

Friendly pilot, Rebooked, 1K'd and Wet

WARNING!!! This is a Ryan post.

We're in DC, sort of.

Reston, Virginia actually. A great hotel in a great spot. Good thing

We made it to the airport, care of Randy, without any problems yesterday at about 4:30 am. As we checked in, we were promptly told "you need to be rebooked". This was mildly alarming as we checked in for a 2 day journey to the other side of the world. But because our LA to DC flight had been cancelled they rebooked us on a 3 1/2 hour later flight instead. Still in our economy plus seats, plus now in an exit row. No big deal, but we knew we wouldn't arrive into DC with enough time to go downtown and see the monuments.

Big bonus: As we boarded our flight out of Fresno, we noticed we had a friendly pilot. Thanks Aaron and good flyin!

Turned out, our new flight in LA was delayed, the aircraft was changed, and we ended up taking off about 15 minutes after our original flight would have landed in Washington. Since we planned on spending the night in Reston, before leaving for Rostov, via Frankfurt, there was no need to panic, and no danger of missing any connections.

After some mild sleeping and snoring (at least that what I was told), we finally boarded our plane in LA more than 5 hours late, and nestled into our economy plus exit row seats thank you very much. Before take off, a fellow (relatively large) passenger stared us down as he walked pass, mumbling and grumbling about airlines, people, and all of the other problems with traveling and humanity in general. As he stumbled and squeezed into the window seat right behind Ally, he asked us "if they'd asked you, would you have given up your seat?". Ally promptly responded "no". (boy, she is tough!) We listened, against our consent, for the next 45 minutes as he complained to everyone in earshot, as he explained he was a "1K" (apparently a mileage status distinction for a very frequent United flyer), had booked his flight months in advance, been assigned an exit row, and because of the plane change had been reassigned without his knowledge. He promised his wife, he'd get something out of this on their return flight. Hmmmm? We'll never know.

Now in DC, after a very restful night's sleep, we are enjoying breakfast at Panera, but can't venture out into downtown, because of Hanna. The hurricane, turned tropical storm, that could dump between 3 and 7 inches in the next 12 hours. Bummer about not making it into downtown, but we'll enjoy the Reston Town Center as we wait to head to the airport.

Please pray, that the weather won't affect our flight leaving today. We should arrive in Rostov at 5:15 pm local time, Sunday afternoon. Monday we'll be able to visit Samuel and prepare for our court hearing on Tuesday.

We plan on posting after visiting Samuel Monday. We are praying his heart will be ready to let us love him.