Wednesday, September 17, 2008

A True Test

Honestly, today has been a hard one so far and in many ways a test of our patience. It's amazing how a couple cold showers can threaten to rob you of joy! We haven't had hot water here at our hotel for the past two days. Note: this is tricky when you are attempting to do laundry in the bathtub. We tried to talk to the cleaning ladies on our floor, but all we could comprehend it that no one has had hot water for three days...or is it that we won't have hot water for three more days?! I'm not sure which. We hope hot water will return and at the same time we realize this is a small inconvience. And it is only temporary.




Samuel was not a happy camper this morning. Maybe he wasn't feeling well, or maybe he is just fearful and choosing to test our love for him today. If the second is true, we really can't blame him. Maybe he is tired of us and our routine of coming for an hour or so and then leaving again. How can he possibly trust us yet? We are consistent with our small part of his day, but we are not feeding him meals or tucking him in at night. So, for whatever reason, he was fussy and nothing seemed to change his mood. We are praying that his heart will continue to warm up to us. We realize that like all bonding, especially in adoption, it will be supernatural. Our time with him ended in a tantrum, his not ours! I was able to go into his room, and after struggling to peel off his many layers of clothing and shoes, he calmed down and let me cuddle with him. He finally relaxed his defenses. I wiped his tears and held him until he was ready to join his group for lunch. I thought about what God's Word says, "perfect love casts out fear." I long for him to know how much we love him, and more importantly and longer lasting, how deeply his Heavenly Father loves him.

We are missing our children at home like crazy! Thankfully, they are in good hands and doing just fine, but 10 more days seems like an eternity (by the time we are together again it will have been 23 days in all). We've been able to talk with each of them on the phone twice now. Hearing their voices makes us miss them more. Noah said to me, "I want you" and "get Samuel quick from the Baby Home". My feelings exactly! I'm so glad he's to the point, especially when we're using a phone card with limited minutes. I have had many opportunities to imagine what his life would be like if he was still living here at the Baby Home. Some of the children we play with are close to four as he is, and will soon be moving on the the orphanage for older children. I am thankful, beyond words, for God's choosing him for our family.



Our room in the hotel is located on what they call the Comfort Wing and so oddly enough the word "Comfort" is posted above our hall. Each time we walk under the sign I am reminded of the source of true comfort. As you probably sense from my writing, I have stuggled to put a smile on today. But, I choose to do so because I am a child of God, adopted into His family. And the best part, He loves me with a perfect love.

"For He delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of His Beloved Son." Colossians 1:13

Ryan and I did go to a soccer game on Monday night. It was a lot of fun, kind of like a date! Again, the sights and smell were different, but the game and celebration was the same. Rostov won 3-0.


4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Cold shower, wow, seeing the way Samuel Matvey is dressed would lead me to believe that it has turned cold there. Creature comforts that we enjoy so much are taken for granted by us. Bless you both as you endure these final few days. Are you authorized to take Samuel Matvey from the home over the weekend? Are you on schedule to be home as you thought earlier? We are so anxious to have you home and be able to meet and start bonding with our new grandchild.
Keep your foundation of faith secure in the promise that He is able.
We love you.
Papa and Grandma Howard

Annie said...

May the God of all comfort encourage and strengthen your hearts. We (Oct. ladies) had lunch with your mom/in law yesterday--she is handling her end of this adventure with her usual calm and competence. You children are in good hands, and so are you.
love,
Neta

candice said...

You are probably on your way to the orphanage for the LAST time right now! Hoping the party goes well and we are rejoicing with you that Samuel is yours forever today! Can't wait to see some pictures...

emily hope said...

Praying for you guys and little Samuel in your last moments there. May the purposes of the Lord stand in every particular detail!